Drowning Memories: Harmonic Moves
by katerinaaqu
Summary: Ed has is depressed cause it is Al's birthday and goes to the tavern and had rather too much to drink. Conqueror of Shabala plot. Please review!


Edward Elric chugged down another glass of liquor tasting it and feeling it flowing down his throat. The tavern was again full with people drinking their beers and talking about everything. You could hear around talking about politicians, business, and religions, current times, even people that were flirting with the waitresses. The voices were being heard all together in a union and it was hard to distinguish which one was talking to whom. Edward didn't have company that evening. He was there by himself. He needed it. The voices around him seemed so distant to him and they were getting mixed with the faint sounds of the three musicians that were playing the guitar, the violin and some percussions. The lambs were illuminating the tavern as always and the smells were also many and diverse. Eyes of melted gold were looking around once in a while but with no interest at all. He could smell the fresh sausages that were grilled in the kitchen, the warm soup along with the strong smell of alcohol and smoke that was also filling the place. No, he wasn't a complete stranger in there. In fact he knew almost every single one of them. He had spent many evenings with them in that tavern, talking about everything! However right now he was sitting alone in a corner table hearing the foreign music and the conversations around him without really listening though… He drank another glass. Why was he doing this? Why was he drinking here alone? He was never fond of alcohol. I mean, yes, he enjoyed having one beer or two with his roommate and new friend Alphonse Heiderich but that was all. He never was a heavy drinker neither he liked alcoholic drinks. And when he had something stronger, like this rum for example, he was drinking only a glass and he was drinking it slowly. However somehow now he waved to one waitress to bring him some more. On his table were abandoned a small, half-eaten piece of bread and a plate that had some oil on it. The fork still on its edge, proving that he had eaten some sausages a moment ago. He usually had quite an appetite but today that sausage was enough for him. His drink came and he tossed another coin on the table to pay for it. He poured the liquor and drank it again in one sip. It wasn't only the amount of the drink, it was also the speed he was consuming it. For some reason, tonight no matter how much he drank, he was still feeling thirsty. As if he really needed this burning liquor to turn some fire in his throat off. His slightly foggy mind tried to concentrate and remember the reason he was there in the first place. No, it wasn't the foreign band that was playing the music now (they were from Spain he was almost sure), it wasn't something in the menu either. He just had the usual stuff. Then why was he there? And why was he drinking?

"Right…" he thought, "Today it is Al's birthday…"

Alphonse Elric…his little brother… He had the slightest idea how he was doing. The last thing he remembered was that he had tried to bring him back, by using his alchemy…the last time he ever did use alchemy. Right! Now he remembered. He was living in that dimension for three years…however…he was living… What if Al was dead? What if he hadn't managed to save him? So tonight it would be his birthday. He didn't even know if he had managed to bring at least his body back! So that was the reason he was feeling like this…why was he so depressed now…after three years? Three years he lived in this place called Earth, in this city called Munich. He had spent some months with his father, Holemheim. He used to hate him but now first of all he didn't have a choice and secondly while he met him better he really liked him. He was living with him till one day he decided to start traveling again and find a way to go back to his brother…back to his friends…his world… He was feeling that he didn't belong in here! He belonged to the other side of the Gate…along with his alchemy…along with his brother… When he started this journey he was sure that he could find a way to go back to his home. Then one day, he met Alphonse. He drew his attention from the very beginning. He looked like his brother and he was even talking like him! He appeared to be the same as Al would be, if he has grown up. They came along pretty well and soon Edward ended up traveling with him from carnival to carnival in order to prove to the world that they had made a rocket, something that would change everyone's life to the better. Right now he wasn't thinking of it. All he could think with his cloudy head was that at the moment he was somehow angry. Not at anyone else, at himself mostly. He knew it was wrong to act like this, and leave their apartment in the middle of the night without telling Alphonse much, Alphonse was also coughing again…he was getting sick really easily and right now he was coughing again once in a while so it was pretty rude by his part to leave him like that and just come here, however he couldn't help it! He knew that was living with a man that looked like Al, acted like Al, talked like Al…a man that had grown to love like Al…a man…that wasn't Al though… He was living in an illusion! That was all he could think and he drank another glass of rum, hoping that he could drown himself…his memories… He just wanted to forget…even for one night. He smiled a bitter smile while holding another full glass in his hand, looking at the liquor in it. For someone that was not a heavy drinker he had quite a tolerance. He knew that he was quite tipsy…quite a lot but he wasn't completely drunk…he had his consciousness. He put the glass down and looked around a little to see everyone enjoying a drink, mostly beer, and talk. They were quite happy, as he could see. Some of them were drunk but they still seemed happy. Only his spinning head was making him feel even more depressed as if alcohol had made matters worse for his mood. Perhaps it wasn't a good idea to drink so much…perhaps he should head home now and try to get some sleep…at home…no, at his new home…along with Al…no, Alphonse… He wasn't home. He was trapped in another dimension and the man he was living with wasn't his brother! Goodness he was feeling pretty down that night. He drank another glass this time a bit more slowly. And here he was…he remembered that this was the day his brother would have his birthday. And he was stuck here not even knowing if he had managed save him! He tapped his finger on the table to hear the slight metal sound under the layer of fake skin. Yes. When he came here he had lost everything Al had given him. His father made for him some arms and legs similar to the auto-mail Winry had made for him, however it was lower quality and more easily broken. His father had given him some of them so he would replace the broken one. So there he was…robbed by everything again…even from his alchemy…hiding his two metal limbs… Suddenly the musician played a sad cord with his guitar…a new song's introduction. For the first time Edward turned his head towards the musicians and his golden eyes fixed on them. He was sitting in the tavern for too long but it appeared as if he had noticed them just now! It was a Spanish melody, now he was sure. His slightly dizzy and tipsy brain was now lost in those notes. He saw people laughing and clapping their hands. But he couldn't bring himself to laugh. The alcohol he had consumed made him feel hot…and tensed somehow but at the same time relaxed…perhaps just confused. Suddenly he stood up and let his coat on the chair. He staggered a little to regain his balance and stop that dizziness and started walking towards the orchestra. He was feeling the booze running down his veins…the melody echoing inside him as well. It was an intoxicating feeling, indeed. He walked in the middle of the tavern where the tables were shaping a circle and then…he was simply feeling the rhythm through his veins. He wanted to do something…he just wanted to forget…for one night he wanted to forget everything and be like those people around him that were drinking and laughing with no something specific in their minds… Then the melody became intense and before he knew it…he found himself start dancing right when the music played. He didn't know he could dance neither he cared…but now he was simply moving his legs making his shoes clap on the floor his arms moving with a graceful and somehow proud manner. Everyone was looking at him clapping hands or fingers. His moves were swift and sudden but it appeared as if he had been doing thins all his life! His arms were also moving swiftly and gracefully like the "matador" in a bullfight making the Spanish people, that were playing the instruments, smile brightly. His eyes were closed. His golden hair, always in its usual ponytail, was spinning around his face. The heels of his shoes were clicking on the floor along with the sound of the castanets and he was snapping his fingers in the fast rhythm of the music. Spinning around himself eyes closed, hearing everyone cheering for him but he was listening only to the music! That alchemy of music was overwhelming and was burning his very being at the moment. Drops of sweat had appeared to his forehead and his eyes of melt gold were now wet…they were burning by the salty tears in them that were threatening to fall. Determined not to cry he was holding them back. People around him were cheering him. He wasn't clumsy at all! Neither with the alcohol's influence…he still was dancing as if he was doing this for his entire life! As if this was his alchemy now. He didn't know he had it in him! He never thought that he could actually do this! But he was doing this anyway…he needed to do this…he wanted to forget…even for just one night…he wanted to forget… The blonde man with the golden eyes was still dancing not paying attention neither to the sweat on his forehead, nor the tears burning his eyes…not even his breath that was now rasped and gasping didn't make him lose that strange passion that had taken over him right now. People were cheering but he paid no attention. Why couldn't they let him celebrate his brother's birthday in peace? They thought that this was a dance of joy…but it wasn't…he didn't know what kind of dance was but still…he just needed to dance right now…perhaps he was indeed celebrating his brother's birthday after all! Once the music became as intense as it could be he was spinning around himself, clapping his feet to the ground…snapping his fingers to the rhythm…changing the direction he was spinning to…intenseness, sadness, loneliness, desperation, pain, tears… And then it was when he stopped along with the music's sudden stop! Everyone was now applauding; cheering for him…they were just as surprised as he was at the moment… He took some gasping breaths…panting…he was back to reality again…some of his golden bangs were stuck on his forehead by the sweat and…his cheeks were wet…wet and warm…he then realized what it was…tears… Had he been crying? Quickly he wiped his tears with his left arm.

"I…I must go…" he mumbled to the man that came to congratulate him and ran to his table, grabbed his coat and staggering a little left the tavern as fast as he could.

"Hay! Edward! Edward!" the man called him…but Ed was already away…

"What has gotten into him…? He seemed pretty sad…" another man questioned as he approached holding his beer.

The other man shrugged.

"I don't know…he seemed so lonely today…he is kind of strange…but he is a good kid…"

* * *

Meanwhile, in the middle of the night it had started to rain. Alphonse Heiderich was walking alone in the house switching the last lambs off. He coughed a little. This damned cough was coming again…and Edward was missing since early that evening…he wondered where he had gone. Suddenly he heard the door opening and ran down to see. The door closed and he saw Edward standing there. He was slightly wet by the rain and his coat was carelessly worn. It was slipping from his right shoulder but Edward didn't seem to notice. His head was lowered and his arms were hanging limb. What on Earth had happened to him?

"Edward!" Alphonse exclaimed and ran to him. "Did you finally find the door?"

Edward barely raised his head.

"Alphonse…? …Yes…I found it…" he mumbled.

He walked a little but his steps were a bit unstable. Alphonse went closer and the strong smell of alcohol hit his nose.

"Are you…drunk?!"

Edward staggered a little and supported himself on the wall.

"Just…j-just…a little…" he whispered.

"Jesus! I was dying from agony here weather you lived or not and you were just out drinking?" Alphonse said a bit angry with his roommate.

Edward looked at him with his golden eyes and then lowered his head again.

"I'm sorry…" was the only thing he whispered.

Alphonse sighed in defeat. There was no need argue with him now. He was fine and that was all that it mattered. After all in his drunken state, he thought, he wouldn't be too much concentrated at his words.

"Never mind…" Alphonse said helping him take his coat off. "What is done is done…"

Edward lowered his head again hoping that dizziness to stop.

"I…I'm…going to bed…" he whispered and started walking unstably towards the stairs that leaded to his bedroom.

Alphonse figured out that it was pretty hard for him at this state to climb the stairs…not to mention dangerous…

"Here, let me help…"

He wrapped his roommate's arm around his neck and they started climbing the stairs together with Edward supporting himself on Alphonse's shoulders… Edward looked at him while they were walking…his cloudy mind then…drifted back…back then…

* * *

"_Nii-san…hay. Hay, are you alright?"_

_Little Edward winced in pain, kneeled on the grass, holding his leg._

"_My…my ankle…" he mumbled._

"_Oh! Here! Let me help…"_

_Little Alphonse Elric wrapped his brother's arm around his neck and helped him stand. Then they started to walk towards their house…_

* * *

How couldn't see that earlier? Was he…at home again…?

"A…Al…" he mumbled trying to touch his brother that was supporting him.

"Who?!" his 'brother' questioned. He seemed confused.

Edward blinked. Why Al couldn't recognize him now? Then the answer came cruel to his eyes. This man wasn't Al…wasn't his brother…and he…he wasn't home. He hanged his head again.

"I'm sorry…" he apologized in a low voice.

Alphonse smiled a small smile.

"It's alright, Edward. You are drunk you don't know what you are saying."

Supporting him carefully he opened the door to Edward's small room. It was the same bed…the same small mirror…Ed was seeing every day for three years now… He sighed a little. Well, he wasn't home… Alphonse helped him lay down on the bed and he sighed again feeling the soft pillow under his head.

"Now try to get some sleep okay? Tomorrow I'll make you some coffee for your headache and everything will be fine okay?"

Edward merely nodded. In fact you couldn't say if that small movement of his head was actually a nod or not. Alphonse switched the last lamb off and left the room coughing softly. Edward remained there looking at the ceiling and listening to the soft sound the drops were making while falling on his window. No matter his dizziness, alcohol didn't do him the favor to let him sleep. Instead he remained there looking at the ceiling…but in reality he was looking something else…

* * *

_Panting slightly with his face flushed, a five-year-old Edward was lieing on his bed._

"_Mom! Mom!" little Al was yelling._

_A beautiful brunette woman came in the small room._

"_What is it you two?" she asked concerned._

"_Mom! Ed is not good…" Alphonse said while some tears were flowing from his hazel eyes._

_The woman approached the boy on the bed and touched his forehead._

"_Oh!" she exclaimed, "You are right Alphonse, your brother has a little fever…I must call the doctor to see him…wait here sweetheart" and left the room._

_Some hours later Edward had a wet rug on his forehead and Al was sitting by his bed looking at him with pleading eyes._

"_Nii-san…let's go to play…let's play…"_

_Edward was ready to answer but then the beautiful woman came in the room caressing his little brother's head._

"_Edward can't come now, sweetheart…he is ill…he needs a lot of rest right now…he will play with you once he is better…"_

_Little Alphonse looked at them with tears._

"_That…that is not fair…I wanted to play with him…and now he is ill…I want to be ill with him…so we can play… Why had he get ill…?"_

_Ed was looking weakly at his sobbing brother._

"_I'm sorry…Al…" he whispered._

* * *

And now he was alone…the rain was falling peacefully and this small music was coming straight from nature. Edward Elric sighed. The tears fell freely from his eyes without him making the slightest attempt to stop them this time. He looked at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry…Al…" he whispered and then finally sleep took over him.

And slept…at the lullaby of the night and rain…

* * *

**Here it is another one-shot about FullMetal Alchemist. It was an inspiration I had by the movie "FullMetal Alchemist The Movie: The Conqueror of Shaballa" and I just wanted to write a one-shot about it.**

**Here Edward is a bit down because he remembered that it would be Al's birthday! The** _italics _**are Edward's memories!**** I hope you like it!**

**The song that he danced was the mare soundtrack of the movie "****Heiderich's funeral song (Requiem)"**

**Please riview! Enjoy!**


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